Harold bee-fancier Chloe Ackroyd is considering suing her employers after they gave her a formal disciplinary warning yesterday. Ackroyd agrees that once again she’d arrived late for work on Saturday but says her boss refused to accept her genuine explanation as valid.
“I’d popped into Dunstable Station to buy a skinny cappuccino and there was a rather tired bee on the platform,” she explained “I couldn’t leave it to be crushed so scooped it up in my cup.”
“Finding somewhere safe slowed me down but eventually I came across an almost-empty Fanta bottle. With a bit of effort I squeezed the bee in to have a reviving snack on the sugars and tucked the bottle in a hedge. It wasn’t there on my way home, so I guess he recovered and popped the bottle back in the bin. Bees are very fastidious.”
A Facebook campaign to boycott Ackroyd’s employers until they rescind Ackroyd’s warning has already gone viral. No-one from outsize clothier ‘Gussets’ was available for comment.
Meanwhile, fellow villager Pippa Delaney believes the bee was a colleague who’d been developing a range of organic free-range honey to sell at her ‘Veggie! Veggie! Veggie!’ shop.
“Reggie didn’t turn up for work on Saturday.” says Pippa “He’d been on the lash on Friday night, drinking mead with some prospective customers in Dunstable. He was probably still over the limit for flying in the morning and was walking home instead. Bees are very law-abiding.”
Friends haven’t heard from Reggie and now fear the worst. Regulars at the Squirrel Lickers Arms recall how he was always the life and soul of a lock-in and a great teller of anecdotes “He was very popular and always had a killer punchline to end a funny story.” said Landlord Eddie today.