An in-depth study of personal injury lawyer adverts has conclusively proven the vast majority of accidents are caused by idiots.
“We decided to look into the issue when we saw an advert claiming ‘Dave got paid £15,000 after he used the wrong ladder’,” said a researcher at the Harold Institute of Statistics.
“When we looked into it further and it turned out Dave had made his ladder out of damp cardboard boxes and Sellotape.”
With the study showing up to 95% of accidents are caused by idiots, there are calls on the Government to introduce laws that prevent them and Andrew Castle from being allowed out in public.
In another example a claimant called Julie managed to blag £2,000 after she slipped on a wet floor at her workplace, but researchers concluded that her being an idiot may probably played a part.
“We are sure that the accident could have been avoided if Julie, who is a lifeguard at the local swimming pool, didn’t insist on wearing roller skates to work.”