An independent poll has confirmed that giving suffering from the MERS virus as a reason for not going to work will be considered bullshit by over 90% of employers.
Middle Eastern respiratory syndrome, commonly known as MERs, is real and can be fatal however its title contains a big clue as to where you have to have been to be exposed to it. Anyone wanting a lie-in and a day away from office-based horror should be aware that having recently had a short-break in Machynlleth is not enough.
“I suppose the Great British workforce should be congratulated for its inventiveness and grasp of current affairs,” said pollster Toni Bailey. “Over the last two weeks there’s been a sharp rise in people attempting to get one day or even two off work by saying that they have MERs and making sure they cough a bit when they call in.”
“Sadly only the stupidest of bosses are likely to believe this and the MERs excuse has only a one-in-ten chance of success. We recommend the old stand-bys of saying you must’ve eaten something dodgy last night or that one of your children is sick. Try to remember whether or not you have children before using the latter.”