North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un has waded into the Ukraine debate today, telling the country to look at his own country’s election that took place today as a beacon of democracy. “This is how governments should be decided,” Mr Kim said in a statement to the Ukrainian politicians.
“People voting not with guns and violence, but with their feet, or for those that haven’t had them chopped off, with their hands.”
“It’s not been an easy to get to this level of democracy, and I sympathise with those that have lost family members in their fight,” Kim continued, “I myself had to execute four members of my own family to ensure victory.”
The North Korean elections, which typically have a turnout of 146% but unlike other democracies have very few queues at the polling stations, are often criticised by the outside world. However North Korea claim they are the most efficient elections on the planet, with the news agency KCNA announcing the official results of the polls days before voting starts.
Mr Kim was keen to show he cared about the situation in Ukraine as much as any other world leader, so has offered some practical help to the new leaders of the country.
“Obama can have meaningless phone calls, and Europe can use foreign ministers to try and negotiate a peaceful solution, but I have arranged something much more useful” he explained.
“I’ve sent over Dennis Rodman for a game of basketball. If that doesn’t stop the arguments and bring a smile to their faces then I don’t know what will. Maybe a pack of 300 hungry dogs?”