Police quiz immigrant family on parentage of ‘confused ginger man’

roma royals

Police claim there is no family resemblance whatsoever.

A travelling family which has traipsed around Europe for almost two hundred years is at the centre of yet another child abduction storm today. Police have taken into protective custody ‘a ginger man’, thought to be around 29 years of age and answering to the nickname ‘Harry’.

The family is said to have started out with the frankly unbelievable name of ‘Saxe-Coburg & Gotha’, but has repeatedly changed its name across various national boundaries in order to disguise itself.

The Metropolitan Police has monitored the UK branch closely for some time. As recently as last month they made a botched attempt to snatch the ginger man, but only succeeded in holding a low-ranking clan member (under-employed by even their standards) at gunpoint for a few hours. “He asked if we knew who he was and what he was for – he just didn’t seem to have the faintest clue” a Police spokesperson explained later.

Fearing their surveillance might now have been discovered, Met Commissioner Sir Bernard Hogan-Howe finally gave the go-ahead to pounce at a large government-funded home in The Mall today, where as well as Harry, what Sir Bernard described as ‘a nest of benefit scroungers’ was also unearthed.

“It was so obvious even a royalist could see this ginger man, who for operational reasons we’re just calling ‘Henry Wales’, wasn’t related to his ‘family’. We think they might have kept him on because he actually had a job and gave the family a veneer of respectability” said Hogan-Howe. “But it’s difficult to be certain: he could have been used to act like a dick, so the public would feel sorry for his carers and continue to throw money at them.”

Hogan-Howe explained that ‘one or two of the family may be in denial’ but that the rest were ‘clearly a bunch of consummate liars’. “Officers of the Metropolitan Police take lying very seriously”, insisted Hogan-Howe. “Whereas by comparison, this family were clearly just playing at it.”

28 Comments

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28 responses to “Police quiz immigrant family on parentage of ‘confused ginger man’

    • Can I adopt him. I have red hair also and am related to Irish royalty (king Brian boru) who can also be found on the British royal family tree and in due course we can legitimise this poor boys lineage and restore him to the British and Irish crowns and then we can all be true friends again. Come on people support me in this it’s a game changer.

  1. Oh brilliant – but I am now in danger of being hospitalised because of a persistent virulent attack of Laughing Syndrome.

  2. Thanks for the laugh!

  3. force them on to Jeremy Kyle for a DNA test!

  4. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Gingers Are Rising!

  5. Thanks for the entertainment. The name of the paper is genius!

  6. No longer can one rely on respectable newspapers for news. It is only thanks to blogs like yours one gets to know what’s going on in the world. Keep it up.

  7. At least the ugly gene seems to have gone from the family!

  8. What if this is true,
    What-
    IT IS????????.
    NOooooooooooo??????

  9. thebigmart

    Well I can take a joke, and this is quite funny.

  10. *snort* lmao.
    Love Prince Philip’s jumper. :)x

  11. Haha!

    Never should trust a gypsy sporting a tiara they say.

  12. Clearly James Hewitt’s son. Guess we’ll never know the truth.

  13. i always knew there was something off about them

  14. Let Ginger rehabilitate in Ireland, Limey Liz is popular there after her 2011 visit….

  15. I spent a wonderful few hours drinking with “Harry’s” (alleged) father in Munich a few years ago. He was very affable and charming but he cleverly & expertly steered around the parentage question of “Harry” when asked … He merely smiled when it was said how much his (alleged) son resembled him …..