In order to counter the widespread belief that their website had been hacked the BNP were today forced to admit that it is intentionally full of stupidity and toss.
“The first thing you see on the BNP’s site is a headline saying ‘Rebuilding the ethnic British race‘,” said Evening Harold journalist S.F McCrossin. “So almost immediately I assumed they’d been hacked. The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has only existed in its current form since 1921. That’s not wanting to rebuild an ethnic race that’s wanting to rebuild Prince Philip. Or maybe not seeing as he was born in Greece and his dad was Greek. I don’t think the BNP are keen on that sort of thing.”
“The whole site is a nauseating blend of paranoia, your most racist grandparent when they’ve had a couple of drinks, and repeatedly abusing statistics so hard that the writer must have got off on it.”
Astonishingly it turns out that all this is intentional and that the BNP do mean to present themselves in this way.
“We’ve had had lots of journalists ringing us up for a quote on the hacking story,” said John Walker, spokesperson for the BNP. “I’m really getting tired of it. For the last time we have not been hacked and we’re not playing a joke. Those really are our thoughts and policies so can everyone stop laughing over sentences like ‘can anyone imagine Saudi Arabia allowing the mass immigration of Christians, so that in a few decades it would no longer be an Islamic country?’ and saying that Anonymous have posted a great parody which perfectly captures our complete lack of knowledge and awareness.”
“Also can people stop saying that the pictures of our leader have been amusingly replaced with pictures of a fat swivel-eyed lunatic who looks like he’s carved out of cheap lard and probably needs to be told which way to face when he uses the toilet, Nick’s getting really upset.”
“Judging someone on the way they look is despicable. Unless they look different to me and my mates in which case it’s fine.”