The village-wide row over whose animals are doing to the recreation ground what George Osborne did to the economy has taken a new turn with ex-Bond girl and animal sanctuary owner, Emilie Bourdain, launching a passionate defence of her llamas.
“My llamas are kept in a secure environment and have not and would not escape. They’re well-behaved creatures which is more than I can say for those I have seen on the rec and their dogs.”
Whether the culprits are dogs or llamas the fact remains that the recreation ground is being more spoiled than the last season of Game of Thrones.
PC Flegg told us that she’s doing her best to combat the problem and is on constant alert for rogue llamas while using good humour and a fully-charged taser to encourage dog owners to control their pets and always clear up after them.
Up on the rec we found local pensioner Tom Stalling surveying the mess. “If that came out of a dog the vet would put the bloody thing down,” he said. “It’s them llamas, Mrs Bond in her big house should keep them for her eyes only or send them back to Russia with love. If this carries on then I hope a man with a golden gun who’s got a licence to kill shoots the living daylights out of them.”
He then went on his way looking rather smug.