Children take shop to court over admission policy


Three schoolchildren from Harold are taking the local Tesco Expess to the ‘Dunstable Court of Human Rights’ in a bid to overturn their ‘no more than 2 schoolchildren at a time’ policy.

The policy was instated in 2010 when the retail giant successfully had the courts impose an ASBO on a local youth for stealing a packet of Space Invaders, although the three year-old’s mother still claims it was a misunderstanding

“We deserve to be treated like any other shoplifter in the village” one of the 13 year-olds told us. “Their policy is just ageist and that, and I know my rights.”

However the retailing giant said they will fight for their right to do whatever they like. “We started trading in this village without asking for planning permission, against the wishes of the residents and at the expense of the Post Office that was here originally” a spokesman for Tesco told us.

“Despite all of that, this is the most profitable ‘Extra’ store in the company. It just goes to show we always know best, and that with a sizable donation to the right charity, councillor or judge you’ll find they tend to agree”.

The case is due to be heard on Friday at the Human Rights court. Lionel Garage from the Harold Independence Party (HIP) has criticised the involvement of Dunstable. “Harold’s retailers should be able to discriminate against whoever they like without worrying about townies getting involved.”

A decision is expected on Friday, but a solicitor for the kids has said he fears his clients may lose. “In normal circumstances I would say we have a really strong case, but I can’t help think there may be a bias with our case being heard by the new ‘self-serve judgement’ machines.”

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