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Police seek the notorious ‘Uncle’ after spate of nose thefts

nose-theft

Look who’s playing Voldemort in the school panto!

Police in the village of Harold are today hunting a shadowy underworld figure known only as ‘the Uncle’ after an epidemic of nose-stealing left scores of local children nasally-bereft.

“The victims came to us with very similar stories,” said PC Anita Flegg. “Each one had their nose removed in broad daylight by a figure who they referred to as ‘the Uncle’. “

“The criminal’s modus operandi seems never to change – in each case, the nose is stolen between the culprit’s index and middle finger, a truly shocking, if mildly amusing crime.” Continue reading

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