Tag Archives: results

A level results less relevant than birth weight two seconds after you get your first job

Claim you went here and got lots of O.W.Ls and N.E.W.Ts, no one will ever check

A level results getting villagers today are happy in the knowledge that absolutely no one cares.

“All through school I was told that A levels would define my entire life,” eighteen year old Simon Delaney told us. “Now I’ve finished I know that they serve no purpose whatsoever and that I can now get on with doing things on my own terms.”

“A levels, degrees – all a load of bobbins,” Cassie Fine, owner of local geek shop Dungeons & More Dungeons said. “My CV says I went to Miss Cackle’s Academy for Witches, did a BA at Unseen University, an MPhil at the College of Winterhold and a DPhil at the Tufty Club. Never had a boss who’s bothered to check if it’s true.”

The rumour that A levels now only exist in order to allow Jeremy Clarkson the opportunity to post the same smug tweet about them every year remain persistent but as yet unconfirmed.

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Filed under Education

GCSEs piss easy claims anyone who last sat an exam twenty years ago

Looks tense but did you know GCSEs in 2017 were only ten minutes long?

GCSEs are officially less challenging than pulling a greasy stick out of a dead dog’s arse according to everyone who’s forgotten what taking exams is like. Continue reading

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