In a shock announcement which has delighted the nation, Barclays has confirmed that it plans to create between 10,000 and 12,000 jobs this year, and has decreased its bonus pool by 10%.
Campaigners praised Barclays for showing how a massive company can make a huge difference to the lives of ordinary workers, without doing any harm to efficiency or profitability.
“I suppose this may not be what people expected”, Chief Executive Antony Jenkins told the Evening Harold, “But we just realised that all this stuff about having to pay ever huger bonuses to ‘attract talent’ is actually pure bollocks. It turns out that there are quite a few bright people who would be more than happy to earn 100 grand a year without ten times that as a bonus – who’d have thought it?”
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