“I’m much too old for football” said OJ Simpson today “and with no more Naked Gun movies planned, I’m going back to something I’m really good at – killing folks.”
The terms of Simpson’s parole mean he has to find gainful employment, so the former sportsman and actor plans to resume taking other people’s lives.
“Obviously I can’t do more armed robberies, that’s why was in the slammer in the first place” said the actor twice nominated for the most wooden delivery “but I’ve never been convicted of murder so that’s not off-limits.”
Simpson says the big adjustment for him now will be killing for money, rather than revenge, but others disagree with that assessment.
“I’ve seen his film work” said Harold’s own former Bond girl, Emilie Bourdain. “It may seem astonishing but he got paid for that shit and he’s certainly murdered a few scripts in his time.”