New York emergency services have warned that the city faces the ‘greatest human disaster in living memory’ after singer Morrissey announced plans to play a gig supported by aged crooner Cliff Richard.
“We’ve faced financial catastrophe and extreme climate,” warned New York City Police Commissioner William Bratton. “But I don’t think this city has ever faced a looming depression of the magnitude of a Cliff/Morrissey event.”
Panicking locals are asking why this once-in-a-lifetime disaster had to happen in their city, but experts are unable to agree on a cause, beyond terrible bad luck, and Northern whimsy.
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