Tag Archives: Johnny Depp

Call for the Hulk to be played by non-green actor


No more mister green guy

Following suggestions that the next Spider-Man should be played by a black actor, popular demand is growing for Marvel to break another tradition and finally allow the Hulk to be played by a non-green performer.

The Hulk has always been depicted as green in movies, the TV show and the original comics, but that may change in the new era of superhero correctness.

“Surely it’s time to bring the Hulk into the 21st century and admit that the colour of his skin is irrelevant,” insisted Albert Renfrew from the National Association for the Advancement of White People. “The Hulk is a great character, we love him, but we think he could just as well be a ‘person of white’.”

“Here in the NAAWP we have nothing against greens, but they are already hugely over-represented in the film industry. Just look at the Muppet movies.” Continue reading

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Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter to get shared custody of Johnny Depp


Double Christmas presents for Johnny!

Following the news of the separation of Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter, a family court ruled this morning that the pair will be granted shared custody of Johnny Depp.

According to court insiders, the custody hearing was a simple formality, with a standard shared care routine being established, where Depp will spend spend weekends with Burton drawing spirals moodily in the snow with a severed bone, and weekdays screaming maniacally in a padded room with Bonham Carter.
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Filed under Culture, Troubled Families