The annual May Day cyclist shoot is expected to draw a record crowd this year, as huge numbers of the migrant subspecies pour into Harold from surrounding ring roads.
With their brightly coloured lycra plumage in spectacular condition, organisers hope to bring down at least 20 of the blighters before they reach the relative safety of Dunstable.
“Barristers and stock brokers alike revere the cyclists of Harold”, explained sportskeeper Iliah Evans. “They’re bred for their speed, stamina and easily shootable buttocks.”
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