Are you a politician suffering from paedophilia? There is hope

As a doctor, I am often asked by elderly politicians to complete capacity reports recording the fact that they have significant cognitive impairment and cannot possibly be held accountable for any paedophile ring activities they took part in 30 years ago. My answer is always “thank you, that will be £1,500 please, cheques payable to Dr Evans”.
Remember this Dementia Awareness Week: if you were a political heavyweight who took the notion of hugging infants a little too far, and if you now sometimes put things down and forget where they are, Dr Evans can help. Capacity fluctuates, but my fees are fixed!