Category Archives: Royals

New ‘Level Crossing’ Grand National fence slammed as ‘needlessly dangerous’

grand_national

Bloody hell!

Concerns for the safety of the horses running in today’s Grand National have been heightened by a last-minute change to the course, namely the addition of the controversial new “Level Crossing” fence.

The fence, which animal rights campaigners are calling ‘a timebomb waiting to happen’, consists of the seemingly trivial obstacle of a pair of standard-gauge British railway track rails, complete with sleepers and light ballast. More contentious, however, is the fact that at random intervals a 240-ton Class 31 diesel locomotive express train will use said track to thunder across the racecourse without any warning, instantly killing anything in its path.
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No mincing about: all the beef on the Grand National

horsecowGrand National 2013 – your guide to the runners and riders, from the Evening Harold’s own racing correspondent!

This year looks like being the most open Grand National for a while, with a mixture of sad puns and frankly disgusting rudeness battling it out over the famous 84 furlongs. But who to bet on? Well, that’s the whole bloody point, isn’t it? So let’s meet the horses.

THE HORSES

RECTAL BAGPUSS

Jockey: P. Yaffle
Sure to win “Best Turned Out”, but does the 43 year old filly still have what it takes to go the distance? No.
Odds: Gabriel the Toad
Our verdict: Mouse organ
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