Village offers Red Arrows ‘a new home and an indoor runway’

‘Break right, break right, then line up on the courgettes’

Harold’s allotment committee has offered a new home to the RAF Red Arrows team, which will be homeless once RAF Scampton is sold off.

The former WW2 airstrip has been under cultivation since 1946 but in 2014 was converted to an indoor facility, in the hope of winning lucrative air traffic when more conventional outdoor airports were closed by poor weather.

Committee chair Frank Johnson says business has been slower than hoped. “We haven’t actually had any planes in yet, so it would be great if the first users were the RAF. Sadly they’ve sold the Harriers, which would have been much easier to handle as we’ve only got about 200 yards, 220 if you count the car park”.

“Take-off might be a bit tricky, especially if kids are using the play area at the end of the runway. Maybe we could borrow their BMX ramps.”

“Landing’s not a problem though, as we’ve got the pumpkins on the compost heap as an emergency backstop.”

A spokesperson for the MoD said they were grateful for the offer. “If it means keeping Richard Bloody Branson’s sticky fingers out of it, we could put up with not flying at all. Or we might set them up at Heathrow – no one will be using it after Brexit.”

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