Holding his head to stop it exploding
With a YouGov poll showing Boris Johnson as favourite to lead the Tories, people who can count to 20 without using their fingers and toes have concluded the UK couldn’t pass the 11+.
“I love Boris” said a shopper in Dunstable “he tells it how it is. OK, not ‘how it is’, maybe how it should be. If the moon was made of cheese and you could ride there on a unicorn. Which is definitely what Boris would do if he was PM. Maybe he could be the next monarch, he’d make a great King. As a chubby adulterer, a modern-day Henry the eighth, it suits him to a tee.”
“I’ve voted Labour all my life but I want Boris as our PM because he knows how ordinary people think.” said another.
“Say I was caught out lying or playing away from home, I’d think ‘How can I get away with this?’ and make up something else that wasn’t true. That’s how Boris thinks too.”
“Or if a friend was cross with someone, I might think ‘How can I help my friend to have them beaten up?’ Well, Boris thinks exactly like that too. Do you see what I mean?”
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