New Waste Disposal Site is “rubbish” say residents


“It’s rubbish” say villagers

The improved recycling facility site in Harold, renovated at great expense to the taxpayer, has been condemned as “farcical”, “confusing” and “the product of a diseased mind”.

Renamed in honour of local refuse collecting hero Stanley Biggs, who once singlehandedly fly-tipped the whole village’s rubbish when the 1977 bin-man strike coincided with a heatwave, Biggs Plaza was designed to offer a modern, clean, 21st century waste disposal facility. Residents are, however, unhappy.

“It looks nice” said landfill enthusiast Luke Sallent “the colour coding and the signage are great, but I can’t see that the planners took day to day practicalities into consideration. Sorting out waste is, of course, key to successful recycling, just maybe not quite like this.”

Local builder, Herbert Fork agreed. “There’s the area for cans, one for bottles and even a nice skip for small electricals. That’s all good. But a box for ‘unfinished paperback novels’? A basket for ‘clothes you bought thinking you’d lose weight to fit in to but have since given up on’? And what the hell use is that crate for ‘letters you wrote in anger never intending to send’? It’s crazy.”

“We spent a lot of time and put a lot of careful thought in to how best to sort waste for the people of Harold” said councillor Bob Crossly in response to the complaints.

“As well as enabling recycling to take place, a trip to Biggs Plaza will be a philosophical and maybe even a cathartic experience. That’s why we have staff on hand to assist and comfort people on their journey. Particularly by the ‘things you have hung on to because they remind you of your youth and dreams but which you know, deep down, should be discarded’ bin, that’s one tough gig.”

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