“It’s too hot” says man who moaned last week that summer was over

“How is anyone supposed to live in temperatures like these?”

A local man who thinks the winds, waves, and ultimately the varying temperature of the sun are personally out to spite him, has “had enough of it.”

Daytime temperatures in Harold have soared to 26℃ and Adam Cassidy believes it’s time to take a stand.

“I like it hot as much as anybody else, but this is too hot.” complained Cassidy, a part-time conspiracy theorist, who confirmed that a steady 22.4℃ with a light south westerly breeze would be perfect. “But not too much of a breeze, otherwise it makes the blinds rattle when I open the windows.”.

“I don’t mind it a little warmer in the afternoon, maybe 23.1℃; the back of the house faces East and so the patio is in the shade then.”

Mr Cassidy has posted numerous comments on social media, calling for a return to more reasonable temperatures.

“Not that we’ll get it, with this lot in power. Theresa May, Boris Johnson, they’re all the same. The forecast says 28℃ for tomorrow. Tory Bastards. I’m voting LibDem.”