US running out of people to kill in shooting rampages

Mass shootings could soon to be thing of the past as the latest massacre sees the US population dwindle to 27.

Mass shooting are technically defined as four or more people, which means the popular pastime could be off-limits inside a week.

NRA spokesman Wayne LaPierre said he was aware of the suggestion that people lock their automatic weapons away for a couple of months to let the population recover, but said such an idea was ‘simplistic’.

“Guns don’t kill people, people do, although obviously most of those people use a gun because it’s hard to kill a bunch of people with your bare hands” said LaPierre.

“But that doesn’t mean it’s right to demonise guns, our suggestion is we continue to demonise mentally ill people.”

“We mustn’t worry about little things like the entire population being wiped out when it comes to the important job of protecting our 2nd Amendment rights” said Mr LaPierre.