In the wake of the tragic death of a 17 year old gorilla, Cincinnati Zoo plan to introduce portable cages to house children and their bored parents as they wander aimlessly round the zoo.
Zoo director Thayne Maynard said it appeared to be unrealistic to expect parents to look after their own children, so mobile cages were the obvious answer.
“It’s a perfect solution, children get to enjoy all the zoo has to offer while their parents are free to safely ignore them by checking Facebook, bidding on eBay, or whatever the heck that women was doing while her 4 year old climbed into the gorilla enclosure.”
“An added bonus is that seeing the humans wander around the zoo in mobile cages will makes the animals feel like being locked up is normal, and they’d be less inclined to pace aimlessly and throw their shit” said Maynard.
The Evening Harold tried to get a comment from the 4 year old’s family, but they’d escaped the furore by going on holiday to Seaworld where the boy planned to swim with the orcas while his mum caught up on some Kardashian tweets.
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