Aston Villa will leave EPL in May unless other teams offer significant goal concessions

Prepared for what?

Prepared for what?

Aston Villa will vote to leave the English Premier League in May unless other teams agree to concede a significant number of goals, according to their chairman Steven Hollis.

“We are serious about a May Axit from the EPL unless we get an improved deal from the other teams. We’re not talking one goal here, or two goals there, we need our opponents to concede at least 6 or 7 goals per game for us to remain competitive” said Mr Hollis.

“For far too long, foreigners have been coming into our stadium, and kicking and heading balls into the back of our net. If we don’t act now, we will simply be overrun by goals.”

Chairman Hollis said at the very least opposing teams need to play without a goalie, and perhaps play some of the youth team in defence. But if other teams were serious about keeping Villa in the league they needed to help out and kick the ball into their own net.

The other 19 teams are believed to be sympathetic to helping out as Villa’s departure from the league would end their access to free goals and easy points.

An anonymous chairman said if Villa carried out its threat and left the Premier League in May, they’d be replaced by a better team such as anybody.

“Playing Villa is the football equivalent of having a bank holiday and who wants to lose two holidays a year?” said the chairman.

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