An artist’s impression of the UKIP moat
“If we make the moat at least 20 miles wide and pretty deep, and throw in a few sharks and pollutants in the water for good measure, I think you’ll find the migrant problem is solved” beamed Farage.
Farage said the moat needed to be all the way round Britain to thwart those trying to enter from Ireland and Norway, as well as from France. Farage noted it probably wasn’t necessary to have a moat between England and Scotland, but if the Scots continued being uppity, he’d consider a wall.
Farage acknowledged his moat plan meant Britain would effectively become an island, and so migrants who have already made their way into the UK would be trapped here and find it hard to leave.
“I have a solution to that as well” said Farage. “We build a huge tunnel under the moat between Dover and Calais, and use the promise of fine weather and cheap duty free to lure migrants through to France.”
“And people say UKIP are out of touch” said a smug Farage.
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