John Terry makes no comment

Despite reports, John Terry has made no comment whatsoever.

Evening Harold reporters have been camped outside John Terry’s London house for two days, waiting to get former England captain John Terry’s reaction to events. None has so far been forthcoming.

The lack of any sort of response, even just a blunt denial, has inevitably led to speculation that there is something to hide.

“I think John Terry has something to hide” speculated Evening Harold reporter Melanie Delaney. “Otherwise he would have responded, even if it was just a blunt denial.”

“John Terry has previously commented frequently. We know he knows words, and I think he knows we know, if you know what I mean. We have heard him speak, not in person, but the television doesn’t lie when you turn the volume up.”

John Terry’s manager turned up briefly to ask us ‘what the hell are you doing here?’, whereupon our reporters explained they had heard the rumours of the rumours, and they were seeking a comment or at least a ‘neither confirm nor deny’.

Terry’s manager said ‘I don’t know what you are f-cking talking about’ and then continued ‘John is on holiday with his wife and kids, and he leaves his cellphone turned off so he can get some f-cking privacy’.

‘Wife and kids’, ‘cellphone turned off’, there is more to this story than meets the eye. We will keep you posted.