Google replaces ‘Glass’ with the ‘Smart Underpant’


Virtually invisible

Google is ending sales of its Google Glass eyewear product, and focussing instead on the rapidly-swelling ‘smart underpant’ market.

A spokesperson from Google explained that while Google Glass may return in the future, the firm believes that underpants will take off this year, and is devoting its efforts into getting into them.

The main advantages of the smart undercracker appear to be in its relatively discreet appearance – while the obtrusive Google Glasses led to concerns of privacy and looking like an arse-hat, the new Google Pant will sit snugly on the user’s right testicle, virtually invisible apart from the giant plastic camera poking out of the permanently-open fly.

‘Genitechnology’ may not prove to be a shoo-in, however. A US government committee has already raised concerns about the privacy implications of having a camera strapped to your old fellow. The committee has quizzed other tech companies on what they do with the information they gather from users’ genitals, and has reprimanded Sony for not making it clear that the new “Buttman” music player included a security feature which meant once inserted, it could only be removed in-store, causing much embarrassment to music-lovers.

Google has denied that there will be any problems relating to an always-on internet-connected camera mounted on users’ tackle, but Congress is reportedly concerned about the privacy implications, should the users’ penises leak into the public domain.

There may also be copyright problems for Google, as tech giant Apple is believed to own the patent for “an expensive gadget hanging off a cock”, which it turned into the iPhone.

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