Lollies don’t work with zombies
“They were very pale, with a fixed smile and vacant stare” said shopkeeper Julie Kettle. “I suspect they were zombies, or from Norwich.”
“I tried to get rid of them with a handful of lollies but they insisted they wanted my soul. In desperation I stabbed the younger one with scissors, but even then they left a pamphlet and said they would be back next week.”
Dominic Delaney said he thought the trick or treaters were vampires when they asked him to ‘open his heart to Jehovah’, but when he couldn’t scare them off with garlic bread he panicked and joined other villagers in fleeing to the relative sanctuary of the Squirrel Lickers Arms.
The night of terror finally ended when quick thinking publican Eddie Grudgingly gave the trick or treaters a cup of his ‘special tea’, and Eddie reported they were last seen ‘some-where, Jehovah the rainbow, way up high’.
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