“Kids these days, huh” and “it wasn’t like that in my day”, these are just some of the phrases wheeled out at the first sign someone is getting old and showing symptoms of envy at the younger generation. But seriously, Harold isn’t like it was in our day, and kids these days have no respect. To prove the point, here is a list of 6 reasons ’90s Harold was much better than it is today.
1-Music
All music today is either noise or a few pretty people on stage not even playing their own instruments or writing their own songs. But in the ’90s it was so much different.
If you conveniently forget Ace of Base, the Spice Girls, Boyzone, East 17, Salt n Pepper, Bryan Adams, Ricky Martin, Creed, a song about being blue (a dab a dee a ba di) and anything which led a crowd to say oowee-oowee, then you’ll remember we had Oasis and Blur. I mean, it doesn’t get any better than Oasis and Blur. It was all proper music back then. Oasis and Blur, man.
2-Drinking
Nowadays the ‘youth’ of Harold have the joy of pubs and clubs running ridiculous offers that make drinking alcohol cheaper, leaving a whole generation that don’t respect alcohol.
Back in the 90s however, Harold’s teenagers learnt to appreciate alcohol. When you spent you evenings in a dark park drinking cans of 50p cider you soon learnt to have respect for a pint from the pub. And on a similar note…
3-Smoking
Many of Harold’s teenagers today see smoking as a filthy habit that can lead to horrific health damage, ruining it for the generations before and after them.
Back in the Brit-pop days, smoking wasn’t as bad for you. This is proven by warnings only being in the smallest print on one edge of the packet. Although the legal age for smoking was 16 in the 90s, you were exempt from age limits if cigarettes were purchased with a bottle of cola Panda Pop. And how can 20 Sovereign be bad for you but only cost £2.50? Smoking was so much better for you in the 90s.
4-Environment and health
Since the year 2000 rates of child obesity have gone through the roof. The amount of today’s kids that have more fat content than a pork scratching has gone up 2 million percent*. We had fast food in the 90s and top of the range games consoles such as the Sega Master System (which came with a free game, Alex Kidd, built in. 90s value for money) so why were 90’s children thinner and what is causing the extra fatties?
Well, the answer in one word is lead. In the year 2000 leaded petrol was taken off sale. Coincidence? We doubt it. Lead in the air is a proven appetite suppressant. Harold’s air today may be cleaner, but nothing beats a lung full of lead to stop you eating.
*Unscientific number picked at random to prove a point.
And finally
5-Maths
People in Harold in the 90s were better at maths
