Particles of Edwin Hubble’s soul discovered by Deep Space Telescope

All kinds of weird shit going on.

All kinds of weird shit going on.

The world of science was left in confusion today after NASA picked up images of particles from the remains of Edwin Hubble.

“What’s really weird” said NASA operative Dr Lucille What “is that the images were beamed back to earth by the deep space imaging device of the same name, the Hubble Telescope.  What we witnessed was nothing short of a family reunion.”

Edwin Hubble died more than 60 years ago.  He had undoubted success with his science work, discovering that there’s a lot more space outside our own Milky Way and that the universe is expanding, but will always be remembered primarily for the role he played in bringing Chicago University basketball team their first silverware.  His basketball skills were put down to his extraordinary ability to zoom in on the target net, seeing it, as he often said, ‘in at least three dimensions’.

“The Deep Space Telescope picked up a random photon-like particle,” explained Dr What, “and put it through a routine spectral analysis, which confirmed that it was indeed spectral.”  But a more detailed examination left the NASA team gasping with astonishment.  “A review of the ghostlike object’s particular red-shift characteristics – which is like analysing its DNA – enabled the telescope to pinpoint its origins to November 1889 in Marshfield, Missouri,” continued Dr What, “but before we had chance to check through the record of births, the telescope suddenly exclaimed ‘Daddy!’”

Further investigation revealed that the speck had travelled to the outermost reaches of the universe and back, a journey of some 27 billion light-years.  This has led some scientists to question the veracity of the findings, but NASA insists the facts are indisputable.

“These spectral particles are like bits of soul which journey through infinite space and time, occasionally manifesting in human form at any time and place of their own choosing,” said Dr What.  NASA has confirmed that the findings have been verified by the rest of her team, Doctors When, Where, How and Why.

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