My suitcase is already packed.
Roy Keane said it was a real honour to be given the post as the Ireland football team’s assistant coach, and he was looking forward to walking out on them as soon as possible.
Keane was at his combative and fiery best at a press conference today as he explained how he would repay head coach Martin O’Neill’s faith in him by working hard at his coaching skills, get the trust of the players, and then walk out on them at the most inconvenient moment.
“I’ve already walked out on Ireland on the biggest stage of all as a player, and I’m confident I can match that effort as a coach” said Keane. “People knock my managerial experience but they forget I have walked out on some pretty decent clubs such as Sunderland and Ipswich.”
When asked about comments made about him by Sir Alex Ferguson, Keene got visibility agitated.
“Don’t believe anything Fergie says. I would have walked out on Manchester United too, it’s just that they were paying me too much – a man has to eat.”
Football pundits hailed O’Neill’s vision in appointing Keane to the assistant coach role.
“The one thing a football team needs to be is united” said Alan Hansen. “After a few months of Keene, they will be sick of the sight of him. The boost to team morale when he walks out will be tremendous.”
Keane said in the brief time before he walks out, he’d like be involved in a match against Norway.
“Hopefully Alf-Inge Håland will be there and I can finish that bastard off for good with a flying two-footed tackle. Though this time I need to make sure it doesn’t look premeditated.”
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