Out of my way sonny!
The breakthrough GPS technology maps all the common routes taken by the driver so it can then automatically indicate when the driver retraces one of their common routes, like popping down to the Post Office to queue just when everyone else is taking their lunch break. If the elderly driver for some reason takes a new route, the GPS will defensively indicate both left and right so that other drivers know to beware.
Simon Delaney said the idea came to him during the notorious snarl-up of 2012 when four seniors approached the Harold town centre roundabout at the same time, and all four sat there stubbornly refusing to indicate or otherwise yield. The vehicular Mexican stand-off was only resolved six hours later when police negotiators lured two of the drivers away with the promise of half-price Earl Grey.
“My previous invention [the 3-d printer vagina] was wildly popular with teenage boys so this time I wanted to make something that benefited the whole community. Existing GPS’s weren’t suitable for old people– my gran doesn’t like that Miliband fellow and hates being told to ‘turn left’ let alone advertise the fact by indicating.”
Trials of the new GPS show that it works well but takes a bit of getting used to.
“When I saw Doris Kettle’s car stopped at the intersection with the right indicator flashing I assumed she’d had some sort of turn and had slumped forward onto the indicator” said PC Anita Flegg.
“Imagine my relief when she spluttered onto the A41 to Dunstable and camped in the right hand lane driving at 25 miles per hour all the while giving the middle finger to the Eastern European lorry drivers tooting behind her.”
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