Tag Archives: Terry Wogan

Terry Wogan to be given authentic Viking burial

A giant among men

Much-beloved broadcaster Terry Wogan, who sadly died today, will be put to rest at sea in the traditional Viking fashion, strapped to a burning longboat surrounded by flaming barrels of tar, food offerings to the Gods and a genuine Blankety-Blank Chequebook and Pen.

Wogan made his BBC debut on the Light Programme (now Radio 2) before raiding the East Coast of Scotland with a hundred crazed men, leaving the streets drenched crimson with the blood of his enemies.

He took over the breakfast show on Radio 2, and was an immediate hit. His laid-back charm and quick gentle humour made him a perfect choice to present the BBC’s coverage of the Eurovision Song Contest for many years from 1971. Highlights from this time are too many to mention, but few can forget the celebrated incident in 2001 when he slaughtered the two Danish hosts, Soren Pilmark and Natasja Crone in a fight to the death on a hill outside Brussels, stark naked save for the BBC logo daubed in woad on both buttocks.

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Children unite for ‘Wogan in Need’ campaign


A sad, broken figure.

Children everywhere have got together for a grand event on Friday to raise awareness of Terry Wogan, following the well-beloved national treasure’s recent back problems, which meant him being forced to pull out of something.

“Many people today don’t realise the plight of the Wogan today,” explained a child this morning. “That’s why we’re giving our time, to get up there, do a bit of good, give something back, you know?”

“Also, it’s great exposure. We’ve got a book coming out, and sales should go through the roof. To be honest, I couldn’t give a toss about the old git. Er, I mean keep dialling, listeners!”

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