Move, Phil, move! Is he there?
‘Philip Hammond says that thanks to sound Tory economics, Britain’s Tory voting OAPs are to get a whopping 3% increase in state pensions in 2018.
“Make no mistake, this is great news for the UK.” said the Chancellor speaking from in front of a bright background, so as to be seen.
Nicknamed ‘Dustsheet Phil’ due to his fondness for keeping offshore investments covered up, Continue reading
A notorious gang of elderly fare dodgers have reformed to commit a major fraud on the London transport system by catching the 9.27am Surbiton to Waterloo train without paying the before 9.30am supplement.
The fare dodgers range in age from 61 to 76, and have been responsible for a number of the UK’s biggest public transport frauds.
Ringleader Charlie ‘the Spreadsheet’ Yates, a 76 year old retired accountant from Basingstoke, learnt the fare evasion trade from father Big Mikey Yates and soon mastered the art of getting off at the last unmanned station before a major terminus and walking the rest of the way. As he got older and less able to walk the big distances, Yates pioneered the Clapham Junction ‘switch’ over the 1980s which enabled him to travel 80 miles with only a zone 2 Travelcard.