The maniac didn’t even spit at passing motorists.
A cyclist has attempted to travel through a rural area, while not dressed as an absolute cock-end.
The incident was dismissed as a hoax at first, but police were forced to react after being inundated with calls.
“An I.C 1 cyclist was apprehended this afternoon”, said PC Flegg, “while wearing a proper shirt, and trousers too loose to reveal his religion.”
“He wasn’t streaming his route to social media, there was no mention of Team Sky anywhere on his clothing, and he was riding in a courteous manner. This idiot clearly didn’t have a clue.”
Bagging a cyclist is the dream of many.
The annual May Day cyclist shoot is expected to draw a record crowd this year, as huge numbers of the migrant subspecies pour into Harold from surrounding ring roads.
With their brightly coloured lycra plumage in spectacular condition, organisers hope to bring down at least 20 of the blighters before they reach the relative safety of Dunstable.
“Barristers and stock brokers alike revere the cyclists of Harold”, explained sportskeeper Iliah Evans. “They’re bred for their speed, stamina and easily shootable buttocks.”