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Police cuts aren’t linked to rising crime so Amber Rudd gives up her own security officers

“The less I know, the better I like it. Don’t bother me with facts.”

“I was sitting at my desk with my fingers in my ears and my eyes shut as usual, when I had an epiphany” said the Home Secretary today. “Like when I decided to have rich parents, it was a no-brainer. With no link between police numbers and crime it didn’t make sense for me to have armed officers ‘protecting me’ 24/7, so I asked Cressida Dick to move them to other duties. The Downing Street coppers are going next week and traffic police by the end of June.”

Rudd has a no-nonsense approach to work, born out of her down-with-the-kids schooling at Cheltenham Ladies’ College. Although she went on to read History at University, Rudd believes learning from the experience of others is futile. “No, I much prefer to learn from my own foolish Continue reading

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