Tag Archives: £350 million

Iain Duncan Liar backs Boris Liar

The bald one remembering drowning kittens in a sack

Former Tory leader and leading sociopath, Iain Duncan Liar has supported Boris Liar, who reprised their best known lie over the weekend.

“The lie was really successful in 2016”, said the bald one “so it would have been criminal to retire it. As Michael Liar put it last year, we’ve had enough of experts and the same can be said about those who insist on sticking to the facts”.

Most Brexiters now say they never believed the EU cost the UK £350m a week anyway, for fear of looking like steaming dullards and Continue reading

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Duncan Smith ‘never noticed’ giant £350 million NHS pledge on bus

IDS

Not exactly smallprint

Evil Brexit henchman Iain Duncan Smith has expressed amazement at the existence of a massive slogan on his battlebus promising to spend £350 million per week on the NHS, insisting he “never noticed it before”.

The Brexit campaign’s battlebus, outside which the former work and pensions secretary was frequently photographed, featured the slogan: “We send the EU £350 million a week – let’s fund our NHS instead.”

Vote Leave also issued posters reading: “Let’s give our NHS the £350m the EU takes every week”, and Duncan Smith himself frequently ripped off his shirt during the campain to reveal a giant tattoo covering his chest with the same message.

Despite these apparently convincing facts, Duncan Smith remained adamant that he knew nothing about it.

The enormous NHS pledge tattooed over half his body was actually an unusual birthmark, he insisted, and he’d assumed the giant white letters on his bus were the result of vandals.

“Oh, THAT giant white slogan!” he announced, when it was pointed out that he was standing in front of it. “I see what you mean now.”

“Probably kids, spray-painting ridiculous stuff like that all over a nice bus. Whoever did it should be ashamed – ruining something perfectly good just for their own twisted pleasure.”

“I wonder if they want a place on the team?”

 

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Delighted pensioners roll up their sleeves to create a vibrant new economy

oaps

Waiting for the Gangmaster for their first compulsory work detail

The silver-surfer generation woke up this morning, overjoyed by being alive, by winning the referendum, and by the prospect of the hard work of rebuilding the country.

“Not me though, love.” chuckled pensioner Elsie Duggan of Harold’s Over-The-Hill Nursing Home. “The youngsters will do it, won’t they? Those nice Polish plumbers down the road, for starters, their daughters are both carers here, you know.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Economy, News, referendum