PM: Conservative land-banking policy is ‘completely different’ from Labour land-banking policy

“I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.” [did I say that out loud?]

Theresa May has confirmed that her government’s innovative plan to force property developers to develop property is nothing like Labour’s discredited socialist plan to force property developers to develop property.

“Nothing has changed, nothing has changed.” insisted the PM, before being re-booted by her adviser.

“Labour’s ridiculous out-of-touch plans, which we cut and pasted into our strategy document yesterday, bore no resemblance to our shiny new Conservative plans. For a start they’re our plans and not those of a communist spy.” said the PM archly, to a stunned Housee of Commons chamber today.

“To say that we’ve stolen Labour’s plans on housebuilding is as far-fetched as saying our sensible energy price-cap was little more than Labour’s ludicrous price-freeze with a slightly shorter title.”

Mrs May thinks the cost of housing is reinforcing economic divisions and leading to growing social immobility. “So, it’s not all bad news.” she laughed.

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