In a surprise upset after more than 20 years as chief Westminster pantomime villain, Nigel Farage has been usurped this year by relative newcomer Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Rees-Mogg, who was created in 2010 by splicing the Tussauds waxworks of John Redwood and Postman Pat has been auditioning frantically for the role over the last few weeks with classic lines such as “Rape? Get over it, it’s behind you” and “Abortion is always wrong. Ooooh yes it is”.
The producers of the annual Westminster farce, The Dacre & Murdoch Puppet Emporium, decided to appoint the weasely little spunkmuppet to the leading role after hearing all the well choreographed calls of “Booooo”, “Hissss” and “Get off, you slimy cunt” from the outraged public.
Other cast regulars are expected to retain their former roles, with Theresa and Boris the Pratfall Twins, Corbyn the Clown and Gove as 3rd stage weight from the left.
Farage, whose catchphrase “Infamy, infamy, there’s no voting In-for-me” won him much acclaim in previous years, has instead accepted the part of “Mustapha Q’ntrol” in Ali Baba and the Forty Thousand Unwanted Economic Migrants at the Bristol Hippodrome.