The baby-sitter on the doorstep who’d make you seriously re-think going out at all, has clumped all over Brexit talks in her size 10s, like a fart at an investiture.
Hard on the heels of David Davis’ Day 1 U-turn, the PM has waded into Brexit talks with an offer to EU nationals post-Brexit, to show her colleagues the real meaning of a car-crash.
Donald Tusk described Mrs May’s plan as being “below expectations”, which is Polish for f-cking useless. Angela Merkel, on the other hand was clear that there’d been “no breakthrough”, which is German for f-cking useless.
David Davis, however was typically upbeat last night, when he assessed Theresa May’s offer as “f-cking useless”.
“On the bright side though,”explained the former sugar salesman, “it’s good to end the first week’s discussions with a clear agreement on at least one thing.”