People all over the UK are waking up this morning with just one question on their lips: what issue will the Prime Minister refuse to acknowledge is directly connected to her and her party’s policies today?
“It’s quite exciting,” villager and keen politics fan Maya Begum told us. “What will Theresa May simply keep saying the same meaningless phrases about again and again? So much is wrong right now it could be anything.”
“I hope there’s more action than yesterday though. I liked it when she made colossal tit of herself on Newsnight but that bit where she hid in a church like a cornered rat in heavy makeup was just boring.”