EU Brexit negotiators are making a good recovery in hospital, after Mrs May’s U-turn on social care funding left their team helpless with laughter and struggling to remain upright.
Speaking from his hospital bed, the EU’s top Brexit negotiator, Michael Barnier wiped tears from his cheeks and said the team should be home by the weekend, “provided that Theresa stays out of the news”.
Unfortunately, even as Barnier was speaking, a colleague from a bed further down the ward called out “Strong and stable” in an irritating voice, reducing them both to quivering jellies of laughter and putting their recovery back by at least 48 hours.
“The UK election isn’t until 8th June” spluttered Barnier, adding “A weak is a long time in politics. A weak …” before clutching his sides and falling out of bed, weeping.
The Government has now signed up the late Mr Pastry to add “gravitas and balance” to the UK’s existing team of clowns, David Davis, Boris Johnson, and *Liam Fox.
*[disgraced former Defence Minister, that Liam Fox]