Harold head teacher, Alison Lee hopes the general election date will mean the next minister running out of time to ruin her summer holidays by buggering about with education, “but we’ll probably mysteriously lose our phone and broadband connections at the end of June. Just in case”.
Lee thinks that about the same time, St Mary’s Primary School’s post might accidentally be mislaid behind a giant hornet nest in the loft at the Post Office, where her old friend Nigella Bunting is manager.
“If we were unlucky enough to have Road Closed and Diversion signs at various road junctions, a stranger to the village, perhaps an Ofsted inspector or someone from the ministry, might find themselves going round and round in circles for days. Or until the end of term, anyway.”
“I’ll have to speak to my old chum, Eileen Remnant, who chairs the Planning Committee and ask her to ensure that definitely doesn’t happen.”