Tony Blair has been interviewed under caution on suspicion of causing harassment, alarm or distress to Radio 4 listeners who, over the weekend, heard him suggest he might return to front line politics.
“The Public OrderAct covers a wide range of anti-social behaviour.” said the Met’s new Commissioner, Cressida Dick. “True, the Act doesn’t actually specify what those behaviours are, however, I can’t think of anything more alarming than the threat of Blair gurning his way into our lives on radio and TV again, with his mock humility and those weird hand gestures.”
“And things have moved on since his first coming.” Dick continued. With our mobile technology, you could find yourself looking at him whilst you’re sitting on the toilet. That might help if you’re constipated though, I suppose.” she added “So every cloud…”
The Commissioner says the Met has already sent their file to the CPS, asking for an urgent decision “because Blair could be deployed at a press conference within 45 minutes.”