Jeremy Corbyn’s newspaper delivery boy offered shadow cabinet post

Not very happy. Kyle hoped for Defence portfolio

Resignations and rebellions have led Jeremy Corbyn to cast his net wider to fill his shadow cabinet. Corbyn has high hopes that 14 year-old Kyle Jones, who delivers his morning newspapers, will be his latest recruit.

“Kyle may be young but he has nearly two years work experience, which is more than the few Labour MPs I’ve not yet tried.”

Corbyn has offered Kyle the post of Shadow Chief Secretary to the Treasury, to give him a broad overview of all areas before moving him to be Shadow Home Secretary the next time Diane Abbott gets, or becomes, another headache. So, some time next week.

Kyle will consider the offer over the weekend and let Mr Corbyn know after he finishes his gruelling Sunday round. “I’d like to keep the paper round on, as it’ll give me something to fall back on.”

“I’m not too sure at the moment. Quite a few of the lads round here have already turned him down because of the job insecurity. But for me, it’s about the job itself. I can do Maths OK, in fact it’s my best subject and Mr Corbyn told me I’m already better at it than John McDonnell.”

“I really wanted the World of Warcraft job but Mr Corbyn said I wouldn’t be allowed to use Nuclear bombs.”

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