People who recognise the advantages of an expensive education over a cheaper version are delighted that grammar schools are making a comeback.
“There are a few issues to resolve, such as how we keep the ‘wrong sort’ sort out, whilst still getting them to pay for it.” said Tory MP Graham Brady, a man who’s reached 49 years of age without once bothering to get a proper job. “We’ll probably rely on local house prices, which served us well for years.”
“Luckily, we’ve still got details of differential funding for secondary education, from before we had … comprehensives.” Brady shuddered briefly “So it shouldn’t take us long to siphon money away from children and parents who won’t appreciate it and hose it all over those who will.”
“Think of those water cannon that Boris dropped a bundle on, with the water being taxpayers’ cash. Hold that thought … I think you get the picture.”