David Abraham, CEO of Channel 4, has announced that following a spirited but ultimately disappointing attempt to off some publicity hungry has-beens, winter sports reality show The Jump will be replaced by Celebrity Russian Roulette.
“Sadly The Jump simply hasn’t taken off as we’d like,” he said. “Despite our best efforts everyone is still alive. So now it’s time to literally roll out the big guns and see who’s feeling lucky.”
“Already there’s naysayers saying that CRR is in appalling taste but how can anything presented by Patrick Keilty and her who came fourth in The Voice three years ago be anything but classy?”
The list of contestants for Celebrity Russian Roulette is being kept under wraps until the first show airs tonight however it’s widely believed to contain several people you’ve never heard of and a couple of sports stars who you wish didn’t have to do this sort of thing as you quite liked them back in the day.
An online petition, calling for more well-known contestants, has thrown up the names of Russell Brand, Katie Hopkins and Bono. And a groundswell of support for more bullets.