Oversized misogynist oaf, Tyson Fury, has been warned by the British Boxing Board of Control; to take his new status as role-model seriously, stop commenting on things in real life, and stick to punching seven shades of shit out of other men.
“Yes, that’s how many shades there are” confirmed a Dulux technician, rejecting Fury’s claim to have discovered an eighth.
A BBBC spokesman explained “Tyson has assured us that he understands his duty and regret causing offence to others by speaking words, which was never his intention.”
The hoped-for rematch between Wladimir Klitschko and Fury will take place this summer, when he has threatened to ‘rip off Klitchko’s head and pee down his neck’. “Brilliant, that’s just the kind of thing Tyson should be talking about.” said the BBBC spokesman.
Promising to limit his comments in future to boxing matters, Fury described Klitschko this morning as a “commie gayboy who hits like a girl”.