Christmas looks set to come but not at all to the United States this year as Father Christmas’ visa has been sensationally revoked and missile batteries in Alaska placed on Reindeer In The Sky Alert: Level One.
A spokesperson for the US Department of Homeland Security said that in these tense times their reaction was perfectly justified. “What we’ve got here is a foreign man with a big beard travelling with a huge sack full of who knows what. If that ain’t a threat to the US then we don’t know what is.”
Father Christmas said that while he was saddened by the decision he would from now on keep away from the US as he’s very keen on not joining the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy in Guantanamo Bay.