In the face of a perceived threat to their Christian way of life, many US states have taken the brave decision to completely abandon all the principles that made the Bible a good thing in the first place.
Most states were planning to take in refugees fleeing from the conflict in Syria, but the fact that the Paris terrorists are apparently the same colour has provoked entirely-understandable panic among the fearless Americans.
The practical effect is for the entire southern USA to cancel all that stuff about Good Samaritans, charity and basically all the “Christian” bits of the New Testament.
Governor of Indiana Mike Pence had little time for criticism of the states’ position.
“At times like this we have to ask ‘What would Jesus do?'” he explained. “And I think it’s pretty clear that he’d ditch all the ‘Love thy neighbour’ crap pronto.”
“If the Saviour were alive today, he’d be saying ‘Go home darkies’ – that’s my firm belief.”
“And anyway, Jesus was lucky that a major Western city hadn’t just been attacked a couple of thousand years ago, or the good people of Bethlehem might not have been so generous with their stables…”